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The Problem with Acting from Should Energy


Suppose someone makes a request of you and you don’t really want to do it but could do it. They’ll be disappointed if you don’t do it and will tell you as much, but there won’t be other consequences.

What’s the difference between accommodating that request from a place of sovereignty versus accommodating it because you feel you “should” in order to spare their feelings?

Before you answer, sit with each scenario for just a moment and notice how each feels.

First, notice the energy of “should”.

  • When you feel a “should”, what’s that like for you?

Next, notice the energy of putting someone else’s feelings before yours.

  • What is that like for you?
  • Why do you think their feelings are more important than yours?


Now, switch gears and notice the energy of being in a place where you make decisions and act from a place of healthy boundaries.

You are full and choose to accommodate the request because you’ve checked in with yourself first.

You’ve concluded that even though the thing itself is something you don’t normally want to do, you are going to do it because you’ve determined that doing it is in alignment with your path.

  • How does that feel?

Alright. Short answer to my original question is this: the energy feels different.

When you do something from a place of should, you leak a lot of energy.

When you do something from a place of sovereignty, you don’t.

Are you leaking a bunch of should energy these days?

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