2021.11.05
Seemingly simple, whenever I’ve paused to ask myself these questions I get profound results.
No really. If you set aside the shoulds and expectations from others (and yourself), what do you want? How do you want things to be? How do you want to feel? What do you want to accomplish? How does this relate to your values? How does this relate to your responsibilities (current and expected)? And how do you reconcile wants that conflict across time or across priorities?
It can be daunting to ponder that level of freedom. After the years of letting ourselves be (intentionally and unintentionally) conditioned by family, society, etc. it can be a bit disorienting.
If you get stuck or feel too overwhelmed, turn your attention to the second important question.
Ooooh. I bet right off the bat you can list five things that zap your energy in your current situation.
It can be helpful to keep two running documents/lists going for you to jot down ideas as they come to you. Perhaps you set aside 20-30 minutes each weekend to review, revise, and add to your answers separately.
Once you’ve hit a week or two with no new insights or additions, look for themes across your two documents/lists. Often you’ll have the same thing written on each list, one in its positive form and one in it’s opposite form (e.g., wanting to have energy left over at the end of the work day and not wanting to be in 7+ hours of meetings per day since it drains you). In addition to themes, what else stands out to you?
Given what you’ve reflected on, ask yourself “what needs to change in my kingdom”? Make as long of a list as you like. Then chose 1-3 things that you will act on in the near term and do some informal planning for each thing.
Choose one thing to proceed with acting upon and go for it.